Tag: Jill Szoo Wilson

  • And Then I Was


    “Wait a minute, I wasn’t done.”
    “You’re done,” he said.

    Well, he didn’t say it. But he moved it.

    The tone of the words he didn’t say
    echoed
    like a cowbell on a neck
    between two mountainsides.

    Back and forth
    and back and forth
    until one forth
    and no more back.

    And, “You’re done.”

    But silent.

    A slippery tear fell down.

    But tears never roll
    in a straight line.

    They zigzag
    from your heart to your eyes
    and echo
    like a horn blown inside a cave.

    He didn’t say it
    but he showed it.

    And his movement was stillness.

    Like a door
    closing
    before you reach it.

    “Wait for me, I want to sit down.”
    “You’re too slow,” he said.

    Well, he didn’t say it. But he stood it.

    Stood over it
    like a calculation
    he could see from above.

    The mechanics of his breathing
    echoed
    like the ticking of a clock
    dropped inside a hollowed pot.

    Up and down
    and up and down my heart
    filled up
    and one more down
    and down.

    And, “Go faster.”

    But slow.

    An emptying of all that was,
    scattered on the ground.

    The pieces
    drifted
    like leaves
    between trees.

    “Wait a minute, I wasn’t done.”
    “You’re done,” he said.

    And I was.

    —Iris Lennox
  • Builders and Destroyers


    Spazuk, a brilliant artist who paints with fire.
    There are builders and
    those who tear down.

    The builders understand the angles—
    how weight settles into a beam,
    how a line must lean
    before it can stand.

    They take the time to
    dream,
    to envision,
    to let something unfinished
    sit beside them
    like a quiet companion.

    In the late hours,
    when the world settles into dew
    and the last light leaves the window,
    they see it—
    not yet formed,
    but certain enough
    to return to.

    They move toward it slowly.

    Hands learning the material—
    the first press too hard,
    the surface pushing back,
    then giving slightly under the thumb.

    There is a patience to it—
    a willingness to begin again
    without pretending
    that nothing failed
    along the way.

    And when it sits
    just right in the place
    where positive and negative space
    hold one another—
    where the weight rests
    without shifting,

    when something rises
    that did not exist before,

    they step back
    grateful
    to recognize it—

    not as completion,
    but as process and maybe
    cohesion.

    Something new to sit beside.
    Something to enter.

    Those who tear down
    move in starts.

    They do not linger
    in spaces where people
    or places
    or ideas
    are becoming.

    They look for structures already standing
    and rest their heads against
    pillars—cracked, flaking at the edges—
    trusting what still holds
    to hold for them.

    Their attention sharpens there—
    at the point where structure meets strain,
    where something held together
    might give way—
    a thumb pressed once
    at the weakened place.

    They have no questions—
    not how it was made,
    not why.

    They do not stay long enough
    to understand
    what it required to stand at all.

    Instead, they borrow from what surrounds them—
    picking up a word already spoken,
    wearing it as if their name were stitched inside,

    and hold it
    just long enough
    for the next voice
    to take its place.

    They wait
    for the world
    to hand them a reflection
    they can accept
    without question.

    And while they wait,

    they pull—

    at the edge,
    where the fabric thins,
    at the seam
    where threads begin to separate,

    at the place
    where something is most alive
    and therefore
    most vulnerable.

    It does not take long.

    What took time
    to imagine,
    to hold,
    to bring into form—

    can be undone
    in a moment—
    a shift,
    a break in tension—
    and it gives.

    —Iris Lennox
  • Love and Light Years


    Surrounded by air and invisible strings attaching to all corners of the universe, there lies a star in the sky. The star’s name is Vincent, his moniker bearing the stamp of the famous painter on Earth to whom his mother was introduced when one of his paintings was lost in space and drifted across her gaze.

    Vincent is lazy, and his breath is a series of inhalations and exhalations shaped by boredom. He has learned not to expect entertainment from his fellow floating orbs. The splendor of their illumination is juxtaposed by their inability to sing or dance or, in any way, delight his fancy. They lie scattered across the galaxy, telling stories about the things they’ve never done, the places they’ve never been, and the memories they’ve never actually made.

    The sky is not liquid, but it is still. Except when comets come screaming past their stuck counterparts, or when a star burns out and drifts away, movement is not allowed. Change rarely occurs. Vincent is fixed in a fixed state, and he has given in to the stuckness of his existence.

    Vivienne is newer. Relatively new. She has not yet lost the fervor of her “what if” and dreams of destinations beyond the darkness and points of light by which she is surrounded. Vivienne is vivacious and full of wonder. Her curves have not yet been chipped away by the chisels of time or NASA’s rumbling past her looser rocks. She is intelligent, bright, an artist at her core who does not spend time lamenting her lack of limbs. Instead, she fills the sky with her songs and laughter and tells stories born in the dreams she has when she closes her eyes to sleep.

    One day, a spacecraft flown by human hands nicked the side of Vincent’s ribs. It was clearly an unintended greeting, and it caused Vincent a lazy amount of consternation.

    “The NASAs don’t understand space, am I right?” he dribbled out sarcastically as his body reacted to the impact, shifting ever so slightly to the right.

    As his roundness rotated by infinitesimal degrees, Vincent suddenly saw a new perspective. The view he had held for centuries had been just slightly off to the left. As his eyes adjusted, he whispered into the darkness, “What the—”

    Newness.

    Vincent shook his head and closed his eyes. Then he opened them again, trying to adjust his vision. A bit near-sighted, he had to refocus once more. When his eyes opened the second time, his heart filled with wonder. He could see stars he had never seen before. A draft brushed against his back in an unfamiliar way. The stars newly visible to him were sleeping, ignoring the NASA that had just shifted his perspective.

    One of the stars he had never seen before was snoring.

    As Vincent would later learn, the snoring star’s name is Dick. Dick, known as Richard to those with whom he is not well acquainted, wears a smoking jacket and smokes a pipe in his mind. He pontificates on matters such as the romantic lives of the earliest stars and prides himself on knowing intimate details about the moons surrounding each of the planets.

    For centuries, a rumor circulated that Dick once sent notes of love and longing to Europa. Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons, has a voice like a hushed flute, high, soft, arresting. Dick’s love notes were legendary, poetic, stirring a romance so engaging that hardly any stars within several light-years slept during the centuries of their affair.

    Until Europa broke his heart by falling in love with another of Jupiter’s moons, Ganymede. Since then, Europa and Ganymede have whispered to one another, keeping their romance private. Ganymede is not nearly as showy a suitor as Dick.

    And so, the sky lost its drama. It returned to the mundane: blackness, occasional pirate songs, the same stories told to the same stars, over and over again. The order of the sky began to resemble the Moose Lodge from The Flintstones, the same people, the same stories, the same faces.

    Until the gods allowed a NASA to nick Vincent’s side.

    That small disruption sparked the possibility of new sightlines, new encounters with stars whose old stories would be new to him. When two personalities meet for the first time, it is not only their lives that shift. Those around them feel it too. Energy renews. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes not. Always for the new.

    Vincent widened his eyes and took it in: the lighter shade of black in the upper right corner of his vision, the way surrounding light now touched the edges of his face, the unfamiliar stars whose voices he had heard but never seen.

    A sense of wonder filled his old heart. Something stirred inside him. It sounded like a triangle tapped lightly, like Tibetan bells ringing, like a finger drawn slowly across the surface of a gong. A deep, peaceful awareness of life, and his aliveness.

    Vivienne yawned, long and breathy, and opened her eyes as a NASA sped past her head. She blinked once. Then again.

    And in that second blink, she became aware of two eyes she had never seen before.

    They were looking back at her.

    She blinked again.

    Vincent wanted to speak, but instead, he blinked too. Four blinking eyes, fanning something into flame. A steady fire.

    From that moment until now, Vincent and Vivienne hang on opposite ends of the sky. They do not speak. They do not sing. They do not send notes on the backs of passing NASAs.

    They hang, separately, gently, precariously, held by invisible strings attached to all corners of the universe.

    And they blink.

    And open.

    And blink.

    And open.

    They cannot move toward one another. They will never touch the surface of each other’s being. Even so, they remain connected, by the turning of Vincent’s perspective and by the quiet recognition that passed between them.

  • Ranunculus


    They say it’s a flower.

    And it is.

    Set in a glass jar on the table,
    stems cut at an angle,
    water rising just past the leaves.

    Still—

    what is it, exactly,
    that keeps arranging itself
    in this particular way?

    Petal beside petal,
    all with backs arched, stretching,
    yawning in fullness of sound,
    breath released.

    I would like to ask it
    when the first layer
    became the second.

    Whether there was a moment
    of decision—

    or whether it was inevitable.

    Look closely:

    one curve gathers light,
    another releases it,
    a third holds both
    in histrionic embrace.

    If you turn the jar,
    the color shifts.

    Orange, certainly.
    Yellow, also.
    Something between them
    that lights a cigar in the backroom
    and waits for you to come to the door.

    It would be tempting to say
    the center contains the answer.

    But then—

    why does each outer layer
    have its own beginning, middle,
    and end?

    Why does nothing collapse
    once the inside appears?

    Perhaps the truth behaves
    like this.

    Not hidden, exactly.

    Distributed.

    You could begin anywhere.

    Here, for instance—
    with the outermost petal,
    thin as it is,
    still holding its place.

    Or here—
    closer in,
    where the folds tighten
    without strangling away
    the once upon a time.

    Or here—
    where the color deepens
    just enough
    to suggest another version.

    Each would be accurate.

    Each would leave something out.

    There must have been
    a first unfolding.

    A moment
    when one surface
    made room for another.

    Or perhaps
    they arrived together,
    agreeing in advance
    to share the same space.

    A ranunculus is no children's book.

    Layer beside layer,
    each one present
    at the same time.

    And we,
    standing at the table,

    decide where to look first.

    — Iris Lennox